There’s a few sayings that inspired this song. “The pen is mightier than the sword.” “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.” “If you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all.” “God, don’t grant me luck, grant me timing.” Well, those and many more like them are all true, no doubt. Maybe there’s a slogan that sums it up best. That’s why I call this number,
Attitude of Gratitude (or 12-pack Guarantee)
I know and love his heart and his integrity
My time with him I took the bitter with the sweet
I love his heart, his soul his life
And I pity his new wife
She’s a walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee
He’s a good man like my daddy showed could be
When he wants to be the man he wants to be
He chose Bud Light over me
That’s when I refused to be
His walkin’ talkin’ 12 pack guarantee
Now I’m not being mean, that woman surely knows
From her tipsy frosted head down to her toes
It’s her job at Dairy Queen |She pays the trailer rent and light
That fills his Jeep with gasoline |Where the neighbors reb all night
Her job’s a walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee
His Gifts of Venus can make any woman gasp
But barley brews keep it lowered to half mast
On the night they’re newly wed |She’ll need more than a broom
She’ll need the bunny in her bed |To get the groom outta his own room
She’s just his walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee
[Slowly, with great feeling, like a hymn or gospel song…]
Now we’ve both said all there is to be said
To our waters we have both been surely led
He married beer and bread and board
Now it’s half his says the law and Lord
He’s got his walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee
I may have gone from debutante to double wide
That never hurt my love for me, just my pride
I miss the good man at my side
So strong and safe, he was my guide
But I’m no walkin’ talkin’ 12-pack guarantee
She’s his walkin’ talkin’ ice cream hawkin’ bet my talkin’s set her sister squakin’
Better her than me…She’s his walkin’ talkin’ 12 pack guarantee
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